He stepped backwards and sat down on the side of the bed, unable to stand anymore; he hid his head within his hands, and wheezed to give himself enough air to choke. "This is not going to make anything better, and I know I cannot stay here anymore after what I did, but I might as well tell you. I wanted to stop... and I wanted to move on... and I wanted to remember you... and I wanted to take... and I wanted to give... and I wanted to hold you... once... just once, so that you could feel all the love that you deserve... that I've been feeling for you all this time. I love you. But what does it matter? -- I've ruined everything, and --".

"-- It matters", Val burst out.